The Common Thief

I am a thief. I should have my hand chopped off like in Aladdin's time. I wonder which hand they'd chose-- my left, so I can still reasonably do things, or my right-- the one I need to survive? I probably deserve to have the right one cut off, so I can suffer more for my actions.

Brienne (head of Human Resources, and very nice) handed out check stubs today, they come in envelopes and inside is just a summary of what went into your bank account. I was up at the receptionist desk and she handed one extra envelope to me, telling me that later there would be a guy in to pick it up.

I sat it next to the phone and continued my business. I also checked my paycheck, and then sat it down on the other side of the desk.

Fast forward to the afternoon, Roxie, Deb and Marilyn have all taken their turns at answering the phone, and it's my turn again.

A guy walks in the front door. He says Brienne is expecting him, and tells me his name. It's the guy that's there for his check. So I go to grab it-- and it's not there. I lift up some papers. And it's not under anything. I call over to the girls, thinking maybe when they were up there, they stuck it in a drawer or something.

They didn't. I begin to tear the desk apart, looking everywhere. I check below the desk in the recycle bin, in the trash, on the floor. Brienne has come up by then to talk to this guy, and I shamefully tell her that I can't find it. I feel horrible. I ask the guy if it was just a checkstub.

No, it was a real check that I lost.

I knew I had put it right there on the desk, where I always put things that people are coming to pick up! I couldn't understand what had happened to it.

So meanwhile the guy and Brienne go to look in the mailroom, and I get this feeling that I should check in my purse. I knew I had put my check in there earlier, and it was the only thing I could think of.

So the phone rings, and I answer it, while I scavenge through my purse, taking out papers, and the guy comes back to the receptionist desk, and while I'm trying to transfer someone to a different extension, the guy is signaling to something in my hand--- his paycheck.

I had put his paycheck in my purse, like a common thief.

I don't remember a time I turned so red--- he was laughing as I tried to explain it was just a mistake, he wasn't mad at all.

Thank goodness he believed me. I could be locked up in the bighouse right now, with one hand.