Pee Failure

I have to take a urine sample every time I go into the doctor now, right after I check in.
Well, I went in the bathroom to do my thing, and found that I could not reach around my belly to get the stupid cup under me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sitting there on the pot, stretching my arm back really far, and I'm spraying pee everywhere but in the stupid cup 'cause I can't reach far enough around my belly to get it under my stream of pee... it was pathetic.

I got like maybe 1/4 of an inch in the cup, which I didnt think was gonna be nearly enough for whatever tests they needed to run on it, but I set it on the sink anyway, so I could wipe and whatnot. When I turned around to wash my hands, I knocked the stupid cup off the sink. It didn't have a lid on it yet.

So now I only had like 1/8 in. of pee in the cup. And pee to clean up all over the floor and toilet seat.
I was so embarassed walking into the lab to present them with my (VERY) humble offering...I told the technician, "Sorry, I didn't have such a great day with the peeing this time..." She just laughed at me and said that was enough to use... and that next time, to remind them and they'd give me a hat to pee into. (you know, those big things like a bedpan for the toilet seat.)

PA-THE-TIC.

-Part 2-

When the whole awful peeing thing was over, I went to sit in the waiting room to be called back to see the doc. I walked out and sat down, hoping to relax for a minute, when this lady sitting out there was like, "You're not gonna go into labor right here in that chair, are you??"

I was speechless-- what the heck?? Who says that to a perfect stranger???
I was like "Um, no..." and then she asked the classic: "Are there 2 in there or just one?"
WT....???????????????? LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!
What is with strangers making comments like that???

Some days I totally get why people go postal on everyone around them.