If You Love Action Movies You Will Love My Dream.

Last night, in between waking up every hour with contractions, and having to pee, I had the most fantastic dream EVER. It's still making me grin ear to ear!


Okay, so we were all at a place kind of like Ryan's for a big family reunion. Ricardo's family and mine were gathered, at a big long table (really it was a few tables pushed together to make a long one). He was at one end with his family and I was at the other with mine. We were together and all, just each of us happened to be sitting and visiting with our own families at the moment.


I was skinny and hot like I was in Chile, but I remember knowing I was pregnant, though just barely.


Anyway, I'm sitting eating and laughing with my family, and I can hear Spanish coming from the table behind me. I realize there are a bunch of Mexican guys sitting at the table right behind me, but I didn't pay any attention to them.


Suddenly, one of them that was sitting directly behind me, started leaning towards me and saying things, like "Hola querida, se que me quieres. Se que me quieres mirar tambien."  (In English this would roughly translate to: "Hey, baby, I know you want me, and I know you wanna look at me")


I was ignoring him. It was gross. Out of the corner of my eye I could see he was one of those little short nasty ones with a wide face and buzzed hair and probably a few gold teeth.


Let me back up here and say that Ricardo is not racist, he does not hate ALL Mexicans... but he is not a huge fan either, because he's worked with some pretty raunchy ones. And I have had experiences like this, being heckled by Mexican guys who thought I couldn't understand what they were saying. Don't get me wrong-- Ricardo and I both have our share of Mexican friends. It's the trashy nasty ones that stereotype themselves that we aren't fans of. And that's how this guy in my dream was: Nasty.


So anyway, I'm ignoring this guy, though I can clearly hear his taunting behind me. Finally I got sick of it and stood up to go to the bathroom, planning on switching seats when I got back.


The dude behind me got up and was going to follow me! That was it. I was standing there at one end of the table, and I hollered Ricardo's name down to the other end of the table, and when I had his attention I jerked my thumb towards the guy behind me. He seemed to get it at once. 


Ricardo (and this is where it gets good, and you can imagine all these special effects just like in a movie, 'cause that's how it was) stood up, and as I moved out of the way, he made eye contact with the nasty little Mexican dude and got this wild look in his eyes. It was summer, so he was wearing shorts and a short sleeve shirt (that's important visually), so his long tan arms were exposed.


In a move like you'd expect to see in WWF or UFC fights, he seriously make the ultimate smackdown sign, by raising his elbow up and smacking it a few times with the palm of his other hand. 


It. Was. AWESOME. 


And, the part of me that knew I was dreaming, was cracking up uncontrollably inside :D I'm still laughing just picturing it. He did it so seriously, all the while looking at this guy like, "I'm so gonna kick your butt. Come and get it."


I remember thinking in my dream, "No, Ricardo, don't fight!" Like what the heck else is a man going to do when you tell him that another guy is harassing you, his wife?? It was silly. But it was like, after I told on this guy behind me, I immediately had second thoughts because I realized I had never seen Ricardo fight and didn't want him to get hurt. But then when I saw this next part I just stood back and watched it all play out, 'cause I realized he wasn't gonna lose :) 


With the speed of a puma, he raced around the table after the guy, who was trying to run to get away from the smackdown he knew was coming. One of his friends from the table behind me got up and was going to defend his little buddy, but Ricardo caught both of them and gave them both big, bloody, fat lips and black eyes :D


MY HERO!!!!!!!! And of course, he looked hot while beating the heck out of them. And I was laughing the whole time as I watched because Ricardo was having fun beating them up, much like a superhero would when it's not hard for them at all to totally trash a villain. He was grinning the whole time.


So, anyway, he won and I didn't see where the Mexican dudes went, probably off to lick their wounds, I thought. A little while later, Ricardo and I were leaving the restaurant, and the Mexican dude was sitting outside on a chair. (this place had a big wrap-around porch/patio kind of like at Cracker Barrel). 
He grinned at us tauntingly and said, "Parece que van a tener que comprar nuevas ruedas, jajaja" (English: "Looks like you're gonna need to buy some new tires, hahaha.")
I jerked my head toward our truck (yeah, not quite sure why we were driving a truck???), and sure enough, he had slit all 4 tires.


I was so mad. He had won, after all. Slimy little Mexican jerk. I started crying, but Ricardo stayed calm. In a very Ricardo-esque move, he told me to go and wait inside the truck. I didn't know how in the world he planned on driving it like that, but I did it anyway.


I watched nervously out the rolled-down window of the truck as Ricardo walked back to where the Mexican was sitting, still grinning smugly at us and the truck. I expected him to beat him up again, but he didn't. The restaurant had some large rocks (like the size of your head) as part of their landscaping. Ricardo bent over right next to the guy, picked one up, and lugged it back to the truck and tossed it into the bed. Then he went back and did it again. All the rocks he got were right near this Mexican dude. Like he was not afraid to bend over right by the dude, or turn his back on him with an armful of heavy rock. It was a taunting move in itself and was quite intimidating, as no one knew what the heck he was doing-- but clearly, he had a plan. When he had about 10 good-size rocks in the bed of the truck, he went once more to where the Mexican was sitting, now wearing a confused and slightly nervous face instead of his previously smug 
one.


This time Ricardo did not pick up another rock. This time he pulled a gun out from his waist and put it to the guy's temple. I guess he was done playing games.




***(as a sidenote, isn't it amusing that Ricardo was packing this whole time, and chose to beat the guy up the old-fashioned way??)


He grabbed the back of the guy's shirt with one hand, keeping the gun at his temple with the other, and calmly said, "Subete. Nos vai a llevar." (Get in. You're giving us a ride.")


The terrified little Mexican got in the drivers side, and Ricardo got in on the other side. I was in the middle of the two of them, and Ricardo arm was stretched across my shoulders to the guy's temple, still holding the gun there. All the while he had this calm, amused expression, and a glint in his eye, like he was so tough and bad that he knew he had nothing to worry about.


As the Mexican began to drive (I think Ricardo was making him take us to a mechanic and pay for new tires), Ricardo started taunting him.


"Yapo, no la querias? Aqui esta, al lado tuyo po. Ahi la teni." (What, you didn't want her? There she is. Right next to you.")


The Mexican started sweating.


Ricardo pushed the gun further into his temple, and his calm facade disappeared and a crazy look came into his eye.


"Tocala, y te mato. Mirala, y te mato." (Touch her, and I kill you. Look at her, and I kill you.")


I think it was a pretty long drive to the mechanic for the Mexican. And, I'm pretty sure he wished he'd never opened his wide gold-filled mouth in the first place.


Ricardo was awesome. He was the ultimate good hero that no bad guy should ever mess with. 
He was indestructible. He was HOT. :D


And the sweet thing is, none of this is far-fetched. I have no doubt he could do all that for me. He has saved me in the past and I know he could do it again.


I LOVE that man!!!!!! He really is my hero.


And, I really really love my dreams sometimes :D