Mommy the Torture Artist.

Last night I felt like the worst Mommy in the world. Ellie has depended on us, as her parents, to take care of her and protect her since the day she came into this cruel world, naked and vulnerable. I have tried to do a good job of said responsibility, however, last night I failed miserably.

She has a doctors appointment today, so I wanted to give her a bath. She vehemently refused, so I settled on clipping her fingernails. I sat her on my lap and went at it, trying to be careful but efficient, remembering that I'm working with a 3-year old's patience. She has a hangnail on one little finger that's been bothering her for a few days, and when I got to that finger, she begged me not to clip that nail. But like I said, I'm a horrible mother, and the nasty black grime under her nails convinced me that I should ignore the tiny pleading and clip it anyway.

I cut it too short. I made her bleed. Then I got so nervous, that I proceeded to cut 3 more too short. Ellie started crying, and I was in a hurry to get it done and over with so I finished up hastily and, begging her forgiveness, carried her into the bathroom in search of 4 Band-Aids to make the Mommy-inflicted wounds feel better. My child is in tears, I'm about to cry out of guilt, and 4/10 of Ellie's tiny digits are bleeding all over the bathroom. I dug up some band aids, pressed them over the little fingertips, and picked her up and hugged her tight to me until she stopped crying. "Make me better," she said. I dabbed her little eyes and nose with a Kleenex, and we went to snuggle on the sofa. She seemed to be feeling better, with the distraction of the TV.

A few minutes later, she turned to me. "You be Ellie, and I will be Mommy," she smiled as she suggested we play one of her favorite games. "Okay," I agreed.

She grabbed the nail clippers, still on the arm of the sofa. I could see sweet revenge shining in her eyes as she turned to look up at me. "hold still, Ellie," she said, and before I could react, she jammed the clippers under my ring fingernail and squeezed them, hard.

"Ooooowww!!!" I howled. I quickly snatched the nail clippers away and put them up, out of reach. She was smiling.

"Okay, Ellie, how about a different game??"